In this episode of the Strategic Leader podcast, hosts Gemma Bullivant and Fiona Craig explore the topic of people pleasing, discussing its implications for leadership and personal well-being. They explore how the desire to be helpful and liked can often lead to prioritising others’ needs at the expense of our own, ultimately hindering strategic leadership capabilities.
Fiona highlights the importance of recognising when people pleasing goes too far, affecting not only the individual but also stakeholders and overall business strategy. They discuss the significance of setting boundaries and balancing personal and professional needs through assertiveness rather than passivity or aggression.
Gemma shares personal experiences of overcoming the discomfort of saying no and emphasises the value of assertive communication.
They also discuss practical tools for maintaining boundaries, such as the “red line question” to identify non-negotiable limits and the importance of considering the hidden costs of saying yes.
This episode provides valuable insights for leaders aiming to develop a strategic mindset while managing their own well-being and effectiveness.
Key Points Discussed:
– Definition and impact of people pleasing in leadership roles.
– Balancing assertiveness and strategic leadership.
– Personal experiences with people pleasing and setting boundaries.
– Practical tools for maintaining assertiveness.
– The importance of recognising and managing discomfort.
– The systemic impact of people pleasing on business strategy.
– The concept of “red line questions” to identify non-negotiable limits.
– The hidden costs of saying yes.
Key Timestamps:
– [01:34] Gemma’s personal definition and experience with people pleasing.
– [03:10] Discussion on how people pleasing interferes with strategic leadership.
– [04:13] Importance of taking unpopular positions for long-term respect.
– [06:23] The impact of saying yes to everything and workload overwhelm.
– [08:34] Recognising and managing the systemic impact of people pleasing.
– [11:01] The cultural shift needed regarding calendar invites and meetings.
– [16:15] Strategies for being assertive without being aggressive.
– [25:55] The importance of setting boundaries and red line questions.
Key Takeaway:
People pleasing can significantly hinder effective leadership and personal well-being. By learning to set boundaries and adopt assertive communication, leaders can balance their own needs with those of others, ultimately fostering a more strategic and effective approach to leadership.
