Effective leadership requires confidence. Confidence is the skill that allows leaders to navigate challenges, make tough decisions, and inspire others. But true confidence goes beyond extroversion or the ability to perform under pressure. It’s about cultivating an intrinsic sense of self-worth and capability that sustains you through the highs and lows of leadership. In this guide, we’ll explore the different dimensions of confidence, how it evolves, and practical strategies for building and maintaining it.
Understanding Confidence
Confidence is often misunderstood. Many people equate it with extroversion or assertiveness, believing that confident people are always outgoing and unafraid to speak up. However, confidence comes in many forms. It can be quiet and understated, rooted in a deep sense of self-assurance rather than a need to dominate a conversation or situation.
This broader understanding of confidence allows us to recognise that it’s not about how we present ourselves outwardly but how we feel inwardly. True confidence is the ability to trust in our decisions and capabilities, even when facing uncertainty or opposition.
The Impact of Age and Wisdom on Confidence
As we age, our understanding of confidence often deepens. In our younger years, confidence might be tied to external achievements—getting a promotion, receiving praise, or gaining recognition. We seek validation from others, and our self-esteem can fluctuate based on how well we meet these external benchmarks.
However, with age and experience comes wisdom. We begin to see that true confidence is less about external validation and more about an internal sense of self-worth. This shift allows us to approach challenges with greater calm and assurance, knowing that our value doesn’t depend on others’ opinions or our latest accomplishments.
Self-Esteem vs. Self-Worth
A key aspect of confidence is understanding the difference between self-esteem and self-worth:
Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is the evaluative aspect of self-perception that reflects how individuals assess their value based on achievements, capabilities, and social comparisons. It is influenced by external factors such as performance in academic or professional settings and feedback from peers and mentors. Consequently, self-esteem tends to fluctuate in response to success or failure and varies with changes in external validation and accomplishments.
For example: Alex feels great after receiving positive feedback and job promotion, which boosts their self-esteem. However, if they don’t get the promotion they hoped for or receive negative feedback, their self-esteem may decrease as they begin to question their abilities and achievements. In this case, Alex’s self-esteem fluctuates based on external validation and professional outcomes.
Self-worth
Self-worth represents an intrinsic and stable sense of personal value that is not contingent upon external achievements or social comparisons. It is the fundamental belief in one’s inherent value and dignity, which remains constant regardless of external circumstances or performance outcomes. This concept emphasises a core, unchanging recognition of one’s worth that is independent of external validation.
For example: Alex does not get a promotion at work. Although they are disappointed, they continue to feel a deep sense of self-respect and confidence in their abilities. Alex understands that this one outcome does not solely define their worth but is rooted in their overall character and contributions. This inner sense of value remains steady, regardless of external achievements or setbacks.
When we recognise that our worth isn’t defined by how things turn out, we open the door to true confidence. It’s reassuring to know that even if things don’t go as planned, it doesn’t change our inherent value. This understanding allows us to approach tasks with a sense of calm, knowing that, regardless of the outcome, everything will still be okay. It gives us the freedom to move forward confidently, knowing that our worth remains intact no matter what happens.
Leadership Confidence Styles
Confidence is not a one-size-fits-all trait. In her book Happy High Status, Viv Groskop introduces various styles of confidence, each suited to different personalities and situations:
Entertaining Confidence is the ability to use humour and perform confident behaviour, even when true confidence might be lacking. It’s about projecting a sense of assurance through wit and charisma, using humour as a tool to connect with others and ease tension.
Leaders with entertaining confidence can mask their insecurities by engaging and entertaining those around them, often turning nervous energy into a lively, dynamic presence. This style embodies the idea of “feeling the fear and doing it anyway,” leveraging humour and charm to navigate challenging situations while building an atmosphere of positivity and approachability.
Dominant Confidence is about commanding a room with presence and assertiveness. It involves taking charge decisively and leading boldly, especially in high-stakes situations. This type of confidence doesn’t shy away from making tough calls or standing firm in decisions, even when under pressure.
Leaders with dominant confidence are often the ones who set the pace and direction, inspiring others to follow through with their clear vision and strong will. While assertive, they balance their approach with respect and emotional intelligence, ensuring that their strength empowers rather than intimidates those around them.
Quiet Confidence is about creating a space where diverse ideas can coexist without feeling threatened. It involves the ability to accommodate competing perspectives and remain open to disagreements while maintaining balance and calmness. This type of confidence is not about having all the answers or winning every argument; instead, it’s about holding different ideas in a space where exploration is encouraged.
Leaders with quiet confidence invite discussion and value the input of others, fostering an environment where it’s safe to question, challenge, and collaborate. This approach helps to build stronger, more inclusive teams and promotes thoughtful decision-making.
The above confidence styles demonstrate that confidence can be expressed in diverse ways, allowing leaders to find and develop a style that feels authentic to them.
The Three Cs: Competency, Courage, and Curiosity as Confidence Anchors
Leading effectively involves more than just having a strong presence—it requires a solid foundation of confidence. That’s where the “Three Cs” come into play: Competency, Courage, and Curiosity. These elements are crucial for building authentic confidence.
Competency Mode is grounded in a deep belief in your abilities. The confidence comes from knowing you’re skilled and capable and that you’ve earned your place in the situation at hand. When you focus on your competency, you remind yourself that the challenges you’re facing aren’t as overwhelming as they might initially seem. Instead of allowing stress to take over, you draw on your expertise and experience to navigate the situation calmly.
Competency means trusting that you’re prepared, that you have the knowledge and skills required, and that you’re in this position because you excel at what you do. This mindset not only helps you perform better under pressure but also allows you to approach challenges with a sense of clarity and purpose rather than anxiety or self-doubt.
Courage Mode is the essence of true confidence, not in the absence of fear but in the willingness to act despite it. Courage empowers you to take risks, make tough decisions, and face challenges head-on, even when the path forward is uncertain. It’s about trusting yourself to navigate whatever comes your way, knowing that fear is a natural part of growth and leadership.
In Courage Mode, you embrace the unknown with the conviction that you have the inner strength to handle the outcomes, whatever they may be. This mindset pushes you beyond your comfort zone, enabling personal and professional growth through decisive action.
Curiosity Mode is about maintaining an open and inquisitive mindset that keeps you receptive to new ideas and perspectives. It fosters continuous learning and adaptability, which are crucial for successfully navigating complex and changing situations. When operating in Curiosity Mode, you view challenges not as threats to your confidence but as opportunities for growth and discovery.
This approach encourages you to explore different angles, ask questions, and seek out innovative solutions, all of which contribute to a more flexible and resilient leadership style. By staying curious, you remain engaged and proactive, turning uncertainty into a chance to learn and evolve.
Recognising and Reducing Stress Responses
Stress is a natural part of leadership, but it can undermine confidence if not managed effectively. High-stress levels can trigger self-doubt, reactive decision-making, and burnout. Therefore, it’s crucial to recognise and address stress responses before they erode your confidence.
Practical strategies for managing stress include mindfulness practices, regular physical activity, and ensuring time for rest and reflection. It is possible to maintain your confidence and lead with clarity and purpose by maintaining a balanced approach to stress.
The Role of Core Strength in Leadership Confidence
Just as physical core strength supports your posture and stability, inner core strength—comprising resilience, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence—supports your confidence. This inner strength allows you to remain grounded and resilient, even when facing adversity.
Building core strength involves consistent self-reflection, emotional regulation, and developing a growth mindset. It’s about creating a strong foundation of self-worth and emotional resilience that will support you through the challenges and uncertainties of leadership.
Cultivating True Confidence
True confidence is not about seeking external validation or projecting a certain image. It’s about nurturing an intrinsic sense of self-worth and capability that allows you to lead authentically and resiliently. By understanding and embracing different styles of confidence and by anchoring yourself in competency, courage, and curiosity, you can develop a robust and adaptable form of confidence.
As you continue on your leadership journey, remember that confidence is a dynamic trait that evolves with time and experience. By recognising and managing stress, building your core strength, and staying curious and courageous, you can maintain your confidence and lead with strategic calm and assurance.
Leadership Coaching with Gemma Bullivant
If you’re struggling to gain confidence in your leadership role, one-on-one leadership coaching might be just what you need.
In our sessions, we’ll work together to uncover and address any self-doubt or obstacles that might be holding you back. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your competency, embrace courage in the face of challenges, or cultivate a mindset of curiosity and growth, I’ll provide tailored guidance and strategies to help you succeed.
Through our coaching, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of your strengths and areas for development, empowering you to lead with greater assurance and authenticity. Together, we’ll set actionable goals and create a supportive plan to help you grow into the leader you aspire to be.
If you’re ready to take your leadership skills to the next level and boost your confidence, I invite you to contact me and explore how coaching, supported by your organisation, can unlock your potential and make a meaningful impact in your leadership role.
To learn more about the topics discussed in this blog, check out my podcast with my close friend and leading marketing strategist, Fiona. In it, we demystify what it means to be a good leader and share our expert insights.
