Yes, it’s another article about hybrid working. But it’s also about Choice Theory, so feel free to instead look at Choice Theory in relation to something else important in your life.
By the way, if hybrid IS working well in your organisation, please do share your insights with me on what has made it work – in fact, I have so many clients keen to talk about this, that I’m offering a confidential ‘thinking group’ for HR professionals on this topic, to explore further. Email me if you want to know more and figure out if it’s something you might be interested in.
But the truth for most of us is, we are far from making hybrid working work. So, we do need to keep talking about it.
As with many things, inspiration for answers can often be found in psychology:
What is Glasser’s Choice Theory?
William Glasser was a psychiatrist who proposed Choice Theory – in it, he suggested that every action or decision we take is a choice, even when it feels like we have no choice.
In choice theory, there is no such thing as someone ‘making you’ do something – a person cutting you up on the road doesn’t MAKE you angry; you choose to respond to that event with anger. You could choose not to let it influence your mood at all. When the phone rings, you don’t HAVE to answer it – you choose to answer it.
When someone or something triggers a response in you (often anger, frustration, etc) – when they ‘know what buttons to press to annoy you’ the truth is that you are letting that happen. With more awareness and intention, you can choose a different response. We can learn to respond to the exact same event in a different way.
Of course, this is all very well in theory, but when things are hard-wired, it can be tricky to put these changes into practice. And while it’s easy enough to spot anger responses, it’s much more subtle for other behaviours and responses.
But it might just help to explain why people are responding to hybrid working in a range of different ways.
Glasser’s Choice Theory suggests that EVERY behaviour we choose to take (even if subconsciously done) is chosen in order to fulfill one of five basic needs. One of them is physiological, and the other four are psychological:
- Survival (Physiological)
- Power
- Belonging
- Freedom
- Fun
-
Survival
Quite straightforward, this one. We are genetically hard-wired to survive. Fight or flight are well-known physiological responses. There are also two other responses – freeze and friend. These describe our innate physiological responses to danger:
- FIGHT – fight the bear about to attack us
- FLIGHT – run away from the bear
- FREEZE – play dead and hope the bear loses interest
- FRIEND – try to befriend the bear to convince it not to attack us
In the context of hybrid, we are talking about change, whichis often interpreted by the brain as a form of danger – it is a perceived threat to our world.
Change requires adaptation, adjustment, and compromise, and these are all things that the primitive part of our brain might interpret as a potential threat, triggering a survival response. Employees might be fighting the hybrid decision, leaving because they don’t like the decision, doing nothing, or engaging positively (and in this case, it might be hard to determine whether they are genuinely happy or hoping to convince you to do something else).
Key questions
- Are your employees (including the leaders) responding emotionally to hybrid working?
- How is this showing up, and how can these responses be addressed?
-
Power
Here, the term power is not necessarily in the sense of power over someone else (though that can be a feature). It’s more about feeling worthwhile, feeling significant, feeling like you are contributing to something, or that you are achieving. It is about ‘personal power’ – feeling empowered to make choices.
To fulfill this need people often need to feel in control of what they do and when they do it.
Prior to the pandemic, people may have fulfilled this need differently. But the opportunity to apply more personal choice to how we approach our working life, as experienced during lockdown, has fundamentally shifted our perceptions on how we might fulfill this need. Some people may not even realise how poorly met this need was until experiencing what it felt like to meet this need better.
For example, employees may now consider commuting as ‘discretionary spend’ when it used to be an accepted living cost – both in terms of time and money. Although the cost of living crisis may also encourage people back to the office. Time will tell.
Key questions
- How well are you currently doing in relation to fulfilling the need for ‘personal power’ in your workplace?
- What more could you do to meet this need more fully?
-
Belonging
Humans are social creatures, and we have an innate need for belonging. We want to feel that we belong somewhere. Workplace culture and collaboration are rooted in this idea, where these are primarily nurtured by an appropriate amount of ‘relational communication’ – those impromptu social conversations that allow us to explore something wider than the task itself. Conversations and interactions that enable us to get to know each other, understand each other’s perceptions and build social connections. Interactions that influence how much we CARE about the outcome and each other.
In the hybrid working context, our remote working days are heavily weighted towards transactional interactions. Every conversation has a purpose. Yes, we have meetings with a purpose and agenda when in the office, but we also have a quick impromptu chat with someone when making a coffee, or heading out for a sandwich. These conversations don’t happen naturally when working remotely – we have to ensure they are a feature of our working day/week, or the sense of belonging will erode. The cultural fabric will weaken.
And this transactional mode of working can leak into in-office days too, especially when not everyone is in the office at the same time. After hours and hours dedicated to management and leadership training, giving leaders the tools and insights to build trust with their teams, they can inadvertently switch into micro-management and transactional communication, and struggle to build personal connection and trust.
Key questions
- How well are you currently doing in relation to fulfilling the need for belonging in your workplace?
- What more could you do to meet this need more fully?
-
Freedom
Linked to the concept of ‘personal power’, the need for freedom includes having autonomy, having your own space, being in charge of your own time, the direction of your life, and being independent in thought and action.
In the context of hybrid working, for this need to be fulfilled, we must have the opportunity to make choices and act on our own without reasonable restraints. We know that worker productivity increases when we feel even a small degree of control over our work.
Some leaders are confused by the expectation shift here – feeling frustration that employees are being offered more freedom and choice than before (pre-pandemic) and are still not happy. This relates to the shift in expectations and choices. Where choices previously didn’t exist, there was also far less competition in the form of employers offering more freedom, and people felt more inclined to compromise. Now there are many more employers offering an abundance of choices, people feel more empowered to exercise and fulfill their need for greater independence and control over their worklife.
Key questions
- How well are you currently doing in relation to fulfilling the need for freedom in your workplace?
- What more could you do to meet this need more fully?
-
Fun
Effective fulfillment of this need refers to enjoyment. While very few people crave ‘organised fun’, even at these events, people do have fun. But impromptu fun happens every day when given the space and encouragement.
Fun is also connected with learning. Maria Montessori once remarked that ‘what is learned through play is there to stay’. A manager informed by Choice Theory helps employees have fun together to do enjoyable activities. Having fun together also nurtures the sense of belonging, in that it is more relational than transactional.
Key questions
- How well are you currently doing in relation to fulfilling the need for fun in your workplace?
- What more could you do to meet this need more fully?
With all of these needs, it’s important to consider two things. Individual needs differ – some need a LOT of freedom; for others belonging or fun might be more important.
The other thing to note is that this will mostly be happening unconsciously. You are unlikely to think one day, ‘hmm, not feeling much personal power today’ or ‘not feeling much love today’, and then undertake something to change that. You’re more likely to feel an instinctive urge to prioritise your to-do list or arrange a drink after work. That eroding sense of belonging or freedom might mean that an employee listens to the headhunter call, with the hopeful assumption that the grass may be greener elsewhere. In other words, one or more of their basic needs might be better met somewhere else.
Final thought: A recent article from Microsoft details five trends affecting culture that leaders need to consider:
- a) There’s a new “worth it” equation
- b) Managers can get stuck in the middle, managing competing expectations from employees and leaders
- c) The office needs to be worth the commute
- d) Flexibility shouldn’t mean “always on”
- e) A hybrid world needs different ways of building social capital
I hope you find these pointers helpful.
PS – HR is often a lonely role, and there aren’t always people around you to explore ideas with, or share challenges on often very sensitive topics. HR Coaching provides a safe space to talk with someone who ‘gets’ HR. I switch hats between coach and mentor to suit what you want and need.
